On Saturday, July 20, 2024, The Times published an illuminating profile by Megan Agnew on the internet’s most famous tradwife, Hannah Neeleman, known as Ballerina Farm.
Neeleman’s online empire boasts nearly 20 million followers across social platforms.
Agnew visited the Neeleman family on their 328-acre Utah farm, the backdrop to the Ballerina Farm brand. However, her discoveries painted a starkly different picture from the blissful, duty-bound tradwife image Neeleman portrays online.
@ballerinafarm Stroganoff is a family favorite. I used some lamb roasts we had in the freezer and added Daniel’s yogurt that he made the night before ✨✨
The journalist found a woman burdened by and exhausted from her life.
Neeleman, 34, doesn’t explicitly express her struggles. Throughout the profile, Agnew notes the difficulty in getting direct quotes from Neeleman, highlighting how she is often corrected or interrupted by her husband Daniel, or one of their eight children.
Daniel’s looming presence symbolizes his control over every aspect of her life.
An honest conversation with the mother only seemed possible when her husband left the room. That’s when Agnew seized her chance to ask Hannah why she decided against pain relievers for giving birth. “I don’t know, I just have never loved taking it,” Hannah contemplated. “Except with Martha — I was two weeks overdue and she was 10lb and Daniel wasn’t with me … ” she noted with a lowered voice. “So I got an epidural. And it was an amazing experience. It was kinda great.”
When Agnew was finally brave enough to inquire about birth control, the couple insisted that Jesus was the best one. “It’s very much a matter of prayer for me,” the young wife insisted. “I’m, like, ‘God, is it time to bring another one to the Earth?’ And I’ve never been told no.”
“But for whatever reason it’s exactly nine months [after a baby] that she’s ready for the next one,” Daniel added.
Neeleman and the fairytales we grew up with seem to outline even more that they are antiquated and based upon rigid gender roles. Their strongly held Mormon beliefs can explain some of it, with their emphasis on heterosexual unions, sexual purity, and no abortions except for cases of rape, sexual abuse, or incest.
There is a very patronizing attitude that people have towards the traditional wives. Society often looks at them as brainwashed victims of the patriarchy without even considering that staying home with children is as much of a legitimate choice as going back to work after a pregnancy.
However, one cannot read this feature without wondering whether the choice aspect was present for the young ballerina.
